Fertile Journeys

June 26, 2010

Precious Moments

Filed under: Uncategorized — by lhoham @ 8:09 pm

I am so lucky. I mean SO lucky. My life is absolutely perfect right now. I go through my days not wanting to forget a single second of my life. I wish I could just bottle it up and keep it in my pocket forever. Here are some of the things I don’t want to ever forget:

  • They way Nathan smiles at me when I go to get him out of his crib in the morning – he lights up with joy!
  • The way Nathan smells – that sweet intoxicating baby smell.
  • The way his little hand grasps my finger with such a strong grip
  • The way he holds on to my shirt when I’m nursing him – so content.
  • The way he screams as if he’s never eaten in his whole life when he is ready to eat.
  • The way he turns his head down and into his shoulder as if he is so shy.
  • The way he kicks his little legs constantly as if he needs to show them who’s boss.
  • The way he is captivated by lights in the ceiling.
  • The way he falls asleep in my arms even before we read our bedtime story.
  • The way his cute little mouth drinks his vitamins at night.
  • The way he snuggles into my shoulder when I’m holding him.
  • The way he loves to sit in my lap and hang out or read books.
  • The way his cute little toes curl up when I go to play with his feet.
  • The way he sometimes lets this little scream out after he sneezes.
  • How smooth his skin is – perfection.
  • The way he sucks on his hands all the time!
  • How he has one little extra ridge on his right ear that’s not on his left.
  • That he has one single eyelash that is 50% longer than all the others on his right eye.
  • The fact that he can go from screaming mad to totally content just by putting him in a warm bath.
  • The fact that he loves it when I give him so many kisses.
  • And the way he makes my life complete.

I am so happy right now!!

June 16, 2010

Sleep Training

Filed under: Uncategorized — by lhoham @ 8:11 pm

I finally have a few moments to myself! Yay!! And the reason for these much needed evening moments you might ask? Sleep Training!

Sleeping has been getting progressively worse since I went back to work and took a dramatic turn for the worse when our daycare provider quit (with no notice). Nathan hasn’t done well with these changes and he’s been extra clingy to me. And while I love to feel needed, I can’t sit in his room with him all night so that he doesn’t wake up without me there. Just. Not. Possible.

So I decided to let him cry it out (CIO). And you know what? It worked like a charm!

The first night was rough – they always say it’s the hardest because the baby WILL cry and you just have to let them go. And I did – for 1 hour and 45 minutes. And then he slept through the night!

The second night was 3 minutes of crying, third night was 2 minutes, and fourth night was NO crying! He has gotten up in the middle of the night a few times (around 3am) and seems legitimately hungry so I feed him but he goes right back down with no argument. If he is able to go down in the evening for bed, I have no problem getting up for the occasional night feeding. We’ve had a few hiccups – two nights ago he cried for 7 minutes and he’s currently on 2 or 3 minutes tonight, but that’s okay. He’s making GREAT progress and I’m a MUCH happier Mommy!

Nathan and I met with our new nanny today which was good. She came over to get to know Nathan better and get used to our schedule. She seems awesome! while this is a big change from having him go to an in-home daycare, I think this will all work out for the best having a nanny in our own home! But, boy, has it been stressful! Yikes!

I really wanted to write a whole post about breastfeeding, but I haven’t found the time. I’m still nursing Nathan and loving it! It’s actually funny because I was really intimidated by it before I started. I knew I wanted to do it because I felt it was best, but it scared me. I had so much trouble in the beginning with my milk coming in very late (late day 5) and Nathan losing weight. We had to use a supplemental feeder for a few days while waiting for my milk to come in. It’s the most ridiculous¬†contraption where a catheter is taped to your boob so the baby thinks the milk is coming from you and not the catheter. It helped us ease the transition and helped Nathan learn how to get better at nursing. Now, he nurses so well! I also pump while I’m at work which is inconvenient, but worth it. We haven’t spent a penny on formula and he is happy and growing well. Plus, I really love the bonding we get while nursing. It’s relaxing, too! My original goal was to nurse for six months. Now that I’m over three months into it, I want to go at least to a year with nursing and pumping. I’d rather not use formula at all and at a year transition him to cow’s milk. Of course we will start adding in solids at some point probably around six months or so. I also plan to make my own baby food and freeze it – I’ll let you know how that goes! ūüôā

June 7, 2010

Wow…

Filed under: Uncategorized — by lhoham @ 7:33 pm

I’ve had a lot of “wow” moments of late…good things and not-so-good things. I guess the first should be: wow-¬†it’s been a LONG time since I’ve updated my blog. I guess I¬†feel like¬†I want to be making memories more than writing about them. That and I’m just plain tired.

I went back to work and it’s hard and frustrating. I have been dealing with HUGE Mommy-guilt. Have you ever had that? It eats away at you. When I’m home I’m feeling bad if I’m not playing or holding Nathan at all times. Which is completely unreasonable given that I also need to make sure the house is picked up, the laundry is done, the milk is organized, the dishes are in the dishwasher or put away, etc. etc. So I try to squeeze that in while Nathan is napping or after he goes to bed at night. By then I’m beat. I don’t have any time for myself really which I don’t mind per se, but I just get burned out quickly.

I also feel guilty if I need to stay home with Nathan. Like today. He’s sick. I took him to the doctor on Friday because he had an eye infection. They gave us antibiotic eye ointment which seems to be doing the trick. But yesterday he was really off and fussy. I took his temperature and he did have a fever. Before freaking out (like I did two weeks ago when he had a fever and took him to the ER – yes I AM that person), I put him in lighter clothing and waited an hour. I took it again and it had gone up. Combine that with his behavior and I’m pretty sure he has a bug. He’s been puking¬†today more than normal (my kid is a puker). His fever is gone today and he has been okay. His eye is still swollen and he still is a bit more tired I guess than usual. My poor little baby!!!

Being a working Mom is so much harder than I ever could have imagined. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but it’s insanely difficult.

To make matters even more difficult, our babysitter quit. Without notice. I don’t know what happened but apparently it wasn’t working out for her. She called me on a Monday to say that she wouldn’t be taking him. Ever again. Starting Tuesday. Perfect. After scrambling to find a college student to help us out for about a month, we interviewed a nanny and subsequently hired her. I feel much better about the fact that he will be in our own home, with his own toys. She will work part-time for us and I think it will work out beautifully. She’s great and will take him to story hour and play dates so he will still get out and about. It seems to fit our family better.

Nathan has been doing so much new stuff! It’s so adorable! I get excited for it, but I also don’t want him to grow up too quickly!! He is really alert and paying attention to things. He likes to play a lot and sit on my lap. We put together his exercaucer and he LOVES that.

Another “wow” moment happened on Friday night. It was my college reunion which I was really apprehensive about. I had a falling out with a VERY close friend and roommate during college and we haven’t spoken since. I knew I would see her and didn’t know what to do. After a lot of anxiety, we did see each other. And we both smiled and hugged. It was amazing. We both apologized and decided the past is the past and we were young then. We both admitted that we thought about each other all the time in the past years and missed each other very much. And boy did I miss her. We spent the next few hours catching up and doing a lot of “OMG, Really?!” We decided to meet for breakfast on Sunday to catch up more and introduce her to Nathan. It was a great time! We caught up on things and are really looking forward to our time together in the future!

And finally, I have another “wow” moment…which is about my blog. I started a blog to get my feelings out. I needed an outlet for my journey – especially not knowing where that journey would take me. But it has really been a tool in connecting me to others in ways I never thought it would. I knew some of my friends would read it, but I thought it would be more of this anonymous¬†journal. And it’s not. I love hearing that people (old friends, new friends, people just stumbling by) read my blog. I don’t update it as much as I should, but I still love hearing that people read it. Maybe in some way it will help someone else who might be going through infertility issues themselves. At least show them that it can be done. That the chances of me having a baby were not awesome. But, I wanted it. More than I thought was humanly possible. And now I have this perfect little soul (who is currently whining for me in the other room :)).

Okay, enough with the sentimental stuff! Here are a few pictures of Nathan!!

In his little hat

Caught him mid-roll over

He loves to grin at himself in the mirror!

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