Fertile Journeys

June 22, 2009

Ode to my Ovaries

Filed under: Infertility — by lhoham @ 5:37 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Oh ovaries, You are so finicky sometimes.

Usually you hurt, Most always on the right.

Sometimes you make a few eggies And sometimes you make too many.

For why do you make me worry so?

IUI or IVF how do we know?

Friday you gave me five, Today you added one.

Lions and tigers and eggs Oh My!

We shall meet again on Wednesday You will stim until then.

Gonal-f and Lupron shots And a little blood thinner for kicks.

Stay calm little ovaries? Or Grow, Grow, Grow?

What do I want you to do? If I don’t know, How will you?

As you may be able to tell, I’m having an issue with my ovaries. When I went in on Friday, I had five follicles growing. I felt great about that. That’s a good number. A safe number. Safe because not all will mature, most likely. And safe, because I had no idea how big they were. Ignorance was power in my mind, apparently. So today I go in and I have SIX. The sizes are 16, 16, 14, 12, 9, and 9. There are four in the lead with two lagging behind. Let’s make an educated guess as to how many will be mature then on Wednesday – say four? That sounds like a great number…except for one thing. I do not have any problem getting pregnant; it’s staying pregnant that’s my problem. So, if I have four eggs release and then four eggs meet up with four spermies…that’s FOUR potential babies. Woah, Nelly. If I had never been pregnant before, I’d say what the heck? Go for it. But, I am not prepared to get pregnant with potentially four babies.

I asked the nurse if the six that I have are too many. She said it was too soon to tell. She indicated there is a slight possibility we will need to either cancel or convert to IVF. Well I do not want to cancel – obviously. You don’t pump me up full of hormones and enlarge my ovaries thus causing pain, discomfort, crankiness, etc. and then cancel…not cool. So what do we do?

I know this is such a stretch. We have no idea how many follicles will be mature on Wednesday, if any. But, I can tell you this, my body is responding VERY WELL to these drugs…too well, in fact. But, maybe not “too well.” See, there is a part of me (I’m not sure how large a part of me, but it’s growing) that wants to jump right into IVF. I wouldn’t jump right into it because it’s not financially prudent (6 IUIs are all covered by insurance, but IVF is not). But, I have this nagging feeling that I won’t get to keep a pregnancy unless I do IVF. And statistics show that the success rates are much higher with IVF than IUI for recurrent pregnancy loss. I don’t know where that feeling is coming from, but it’s there. I feel like I will continue to have m/c until I go for IVF. That’s weird, I know. So I feel, in a way, like this is my out. Maybe this is my way of getting to IVF. But, how do we know if this is the right thing to do? What if we have four or five mature follicles and they leave the decision up to us? What do we do? Do we risk the high order multiples or do we convert to IVF and hopefully put 2 embryos back in? When I asked the nurse if I should be preparing financially for the possibility of having to convert (or cancel altogether), she said no. But, I’ve seen it happen where gals have 2-3 hours to decide if they can afford and wish to convert and that’s too much stress so I decided to plan ahead. So I called my RE’s financial guru and got the scoop. I now know how much it would cost and when the money is owed to them. IF we get there. Maybe I’ll only have two and this is a whole lot of wasted energy. Why is IF so up in the air? Can’t we catch a break anywhere????

I am so putting the cart before the horse.

What would you all do? Any amazing success stories that would help me make my decision?

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10 Comments »

  1. I have a question…let’s say four take with the “spermies”…is it possible that if your body goes to reject , then there might be one or two left? Or if you miscarriage, do you automatically lose them all?

    And by the way, you can handle multiples…and then you wouldn’t have to go through any of this again.

    Comment by Karen — June 22, 2009 @ 9:02 pm |Reply

    • Hey Karen –

      I honestly don’t know the answer to that question, but it’s a good one! I’m going to ask that tomorrow. I have a feeling if my body is going to miscarry, it will take everything down with it, but I’m not certain.

      I can handle twins…high order multiples is what scares me! 🙂

      Comment by Lindsey — June 23, 2009 @ 11:19 am |Reply

      • But then you can have your own TV show.. ha ha ha! 😉 (Ross would definitely go for that!!) Ha ha ha! 🙂

        Comment by kathy — June 23, 2009 @ 10:03 pm

  2. I’m sorry, I don’t have experience in this area (not yet anyway). I know that it’s a tough decision to make. It’s what’s holding me back from seriously considering getting to that stage. Sending prayers that you will reach a decision and find peace with it.

    ~ ICLW

    Comment by Mrs. Gamgee — June 22, 2009 @ 10:52 pm |Reply

  3. I Don’t know what to tell you because I never had to make a decision like that. All I can do is wish you good luck.

    ~ICLW

    Comment by Kristin — June 23, 2009 @ 9:44 am |Reply

  4. Oh I feel your pain! We had an IUI cancelled in early spring due to 5 mature follies. I personally think my doc was being ultra-conservative since I have pre-mature ovarian failure, and my eggos are not so great. But, also, since I’ve been pregnant in the past..well we know it CAN happen.

    This is my thoughts with IVF vs. IUIs. IVF is expensive…but honestly (and this is by someone who just forked out a lot of money for it), knowing that it’s my best and shot makes it worth it for me. Even if I had countless free IUIs, I think I would only do 2-3 and then move on. If you get converted to IVF…you will end up saving so much money on that cycle since you’ve already gotten the meds and didn’t have to do the suppression or anything.

    But I understand your reluctance to have high order multiples, especially with your history. I realize I probably didn’t help you at all. Hang in there!!!

    Comment by Eve — June 23, 2009 @ 12:24 pm |Reply

  5. I don’t know, but I will be hoping that you will make the best decision! Hoping it all turns out beautifully!
    ~Michelle (ICLW)

    Comment by Michelle — June 23, 2009 @ 6:52 pm |Reply

  6. Sheetz!

    I liked your ode…alas the subject is the source of much pain! Maybe, you could convert it to and IVF…

    or…you could go for s/r (I don’t want to spell that phrase)…

    I think you should not step back…the good thing about the IVF would be that you could freeze some of the embies.

    ICLW

    Comment by ^WiseGuy^ — June 24, 2009 @ 4:38 am |Reply

  7. I wish there was a simple answer, the sad thing with IF is that nothing is certain.

    I think converting to IVF rather than cancelling if you can would be a good idea, you may get some embies to freeze and it may not cost as much as doing a full fresh round of IVF… do you know if your insurance covers a conversion (or part of it) at all?

    I really hope you don’t need to make a decision you might not be ready for and that you can go ahead as planned with this IUI. Good luck.

    Comment by Serendipity — June 24, 2009 @ 5:19 pm |Reply

  8. I think it is possible that if you had a high-order multiple situation, you could have one or two get resborbed without losing all of them, although I don’t know how common that is. Or,as someone else said, you could stick with the many and get your own TV show ;>). Where did you get your hope bracelet? Love you, Mom

    Comment by Mom — June 27, 2009 @ 3:45 pm |Reply


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