Fertile Journeys

May 20, 2009

Support Group

Filed under: Infertility — by lhoham @ 8:35 pm
Tags: ,

Disclaimer: Some of this is heavy stuff…just warning you. If you’re looking for all jokes today try The Tonight Show. Oh and I may not want to talk about this in “real life” so please don’t be offended. Baby steps…

Last night was great. I didn’t have a romantic night out with my hubby. Nor did It pig out on junk food while complaining about my hubby during girl’s night. Nope – But, I did attend a support group meeting.

One of the many reasons I love my fertility clinic is that they offer a plethora of services above and beyond simply getting you knocked up. Last night was their monthly support group meeting. I was totally akward at first. I walked in and immediately saw my RE who greeted me with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. Okay…you can do this, Lindsey. Next, I was greeted by my Nurse Practitioner. No touching from her – phew. I found a seat on the couch next to a nice looking couple and realized everyone had a copy of the book, Eat, Pray, Love (or is it Eat, Love, Pray – whatever). Shit. I didn’t realize this was a book club… Don’t make a scene, Lindsey – you got thru college without reading half the books…you’ll be fine. After some shuffling around with more IFers joining us, we got started. Immediately after introducing myself and explaining the Cliff notes version of my IF story, I almost started to cry. Well, actually I DID start to cry, but I recovered gracefully. I think it was an immediate relief knowing I was in that supportive environment where these girls all are going thru the same thing as me, and knowing that my RE and NP are taking their own time to help us. It was either that or the fact that one of the 11 other girls just found out she’s pregnant and I was pissed. One or the other. (Note: I got over my anger and jealousy after a few minutes and realized she is just like the rest of us…) So, for the first hour, Dr. K (my RE) spoke to us. Here’s what I learned.

1. We make the choice to be happy. We need to wake up every day and choose to have a good day. I’ll try…

2. Everything that happens is a gift from God – even the bad stuff. Always trying to believe this with varying degrees of success.

3. To pray simply means to ask. Now this one got me. I never thought I knew how to pray. But, seriously – it’s easy! I have shyed away from praying my whole life because I thought I wouldn’t do it right, but now I realize I am simply asking for what I want and need in life. I can do that. and I did – last night – for the first time in ages – I asked God to help me see how these seemingly bad or hard or challenging things are gifts. And of course I prayed for a baby.

http://www.grace-united.com/PrayerRequests.html

4. We each are the center of the universe. Okay, this one was a bit far out there…they can’t all be jems.

5. We need to reinforce to our brains that we can get, and stay, pregnant – making the brain believe it is half the battle. (I’m not sold on HALF…but, I’d say 25% at least).

6. How to meditate…this one always gets me. I usually spend more time worrying that I’m not relaxing enough and finally just get flustered – BUT, we learned some great techniques last night that really work. My personal fav is breathing in for 4 counts and out for 5 counts. In 1-2-3-4. Out 1-2-3-4-5. You get so focused on counting that you can’t do much else. And after just a few of those, you feel your body relax. It’s great! Try it. In 1-2-3-4. Out 1-2-3-4-5. Isn’t it great? I’m sure you’ll be hooked.

Now while this all was amazing – us gals were overwhelmed and weary by the time his hour was up – I think we were all a little relieved when he had to leave. It was heavy stuff! Oh, so back to the book! We got a pass – we went so long with Dr. K that they pushed the book to next month! Saved! I felt like a high schooler whose history test (that she clearly didn’t study for) was moved to the next day! Perfect. And even better, she gave us talking points in case we really didn’t want to read the book. Even better! Definitely like college now…

We spent the next two hours talking about lots of different things – side effects of meds (really – it is annoying when our husbands breath too loud) to how much IVF costs ($5,800). It was a nice opportunity to meet other people who know what you’ve been through, as well as help new people along. I am already looking forward to next month!

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2 Comments »

  1. Good for you for going to a support group! It really is such a difficult thing to face the challenges of infertility and figure out how to LIVE with infertility, not be crippled by infertility. I remember that constant struggle, and even now, just thinking about that time still brings me to tears. Take advantage of those resources – there is so much comfort in knowing you aren’t alone. – Tkeys

    Comment by Tkeys — May 20, 2009 @ 11:58 pm |Reply

  2. Have I told you lately how proud I am of you and how you’re handling everything? Love you tons. Mom

    Comment by Mom — May 21, 2009 @ 12:25 pm |Reply


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